Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Tantra Yoni Massage


Tantra Yoni Massage

by Suzie Heumann Yoni is a Sanskrit word for the combined vulva and vagina that is loosely translated as ‘Sacred Space’ or ‘Sacred Temple’. Sanskrit is the ancient sacred language from India used for the sciences and other sacred texts. Its meaning and use shows an honoring of the female genitalia and is an alternate perspective from the Western view. It is especially helpful for men to learn that the Tantric perspective of respect and regard toward the female figure, sexual anatomy, self and soul are embodied by the concept of the Yoni. The same respect is also shown for the male’s genitals called the Lingam in Sanskrit which when loosely translated is taken to mean ‘Thunder Bolt’ or ‘Wand of Light’.
The purpose of the Tantra Yoni massage is to create a space for the woman to receive focused attention so that she can attain long, delicious states of relaxation and achieve high states of sustained arousal. This allows her to recognize and experience her mind and body during deep pleasure derived from her Yoni. Her partner, the giver, will experience the joy of being of service and witnessing the profound pleasure potential a woman is capable of.

Tantra Yoni massage builds trust and intimacy and it is important for the giver to remember this aspect. Soft, attentive communication is paramount to its success as emotional issues from past trauma are likely to arise during any session, especially at first. Various forms of Yoni Massage can be used to assist women to release sexual blocks, past trauma and pain so that the woman can move forward towards a fuller expression of her sexual nature.

The goal of Yoni massage is not orgasm though that can be one of the many pleasurable outcomes of the massage. If there is a goal, other than deep, focused pleasure, it is to allow the opening of the recognition of how deep our pleasure can evolve. What is the capacity to ‘hang-out’ in expanded pleasure? This is something that takes time to cultivate. It is our suggestion that you plan on trying this practice several times over the course of say a month or two to see how it can shift, change and transform into your own design for increasing your pleasure quotient.

There is no need to worry about achieving something because the lesson is in ‘being’ present with what is real in the moment. Bringing in the practices of conscious breathing, heart expansion, moving the sexual energy built to all areas of the body, including the brain, and maintaining eye contact for most of the massage are essential things to practice while receiving and giving. If orgasm does occur it is usually more intense and will set a new ‘bar’ on the capacity of the woman to understand her own response cycle. With the ever-expanding cultural demands on new heights of potential sexual ecstasy it is not in the best interest of the receiver to have un-do expectations put upon her. Just focus on her, have fun and make it ‘sacred’ in ways that fit your own sense of the oneness.

It is best for the giver to not expect anything in return. You can agree ahead of time that each of you will get your turn but these turns should preferably be on separate occasions to receive the full intention and gift of the massage. There are incredible gifts to giving and being of service to another. The giver will receive profound rewards in the giving and when their turn comes they will be able to receive the attention and gift even better because of the giving. There is always the possibility that the receiver will want to engage in other sexual activities after the massage but let that be the receiver’s choice.

Setting the Scene

Tantric practices use set and setting to create a ceremonial-like ambiance to hold a sacred space container. Tantra Yoni massage can be considered a ritual of sorts so placing candles in places that will enhance the atmosphere and choosing music that is in accordance with the nature of the woman is very important. We each have a musical taste that allows us to merge with the universal spirit and the giver’s choice might not be the receiver’s choice so please check-in about this. Musical accord will allow for the flowering of expansiveness. Privacy and quiet are particularly important, especially for women. If you can, make sure you have the house to yourselves. Have pillows, lubricant, safe sex supplies (if needed), water, even small pieces of cut fruit close by so you won’t have to get up and leave during the massage.

Bathing and Personal Preparation

A bath always relaxes the body and the senses. Go to the bathroom first so that this won’t be on your mind during the massage. You may have to go again later, which is fine, but do take care of this before you bath and lie down. You’ll both want to be clean so treat the bath as a beginning part of the ritual if you can. Bathing each other will begin the expression of the neuro-chemicals that cause bonding and connection. It will help set eh stage for a great experience. Help dry your partner and assist them to the bed or area where the massage is to take place.

Beginning the Massage
Sit across from each other on the surface of the bed, in a comfortable position and begin softly breathing together. Eye gaze as if you are letting your partner see into your soul. There is nothing to do here. Breathe, gaze, connect – stay present with your partner. This practice sets a rhythm and entrains both brains to move into synchronistic communication. It builds trust and it builds excitement. Placing the right hand (giving hand) over the heart center of your partner and then putting your left hand (receiving hand) over their hand on your heart helps connect the two of you further. You can feel the other’s heartbeat and breathing. More advanced practice would include circular breathing – one breathes in while the other breathes our. As one person’s breath goes ‘out’ the other receives it on their ‘in’ breath. This helps set the mind and body for giving and receiving.

Lie the woman down with pillows under her knees to support her open thighs. She should be able to relax and not have to support her own legs. A small pillow under her hips and a towel will help with angle and any wetness that is bound to occur. Women worry. They worry about small thing and big things. Take away worry and they can focus on pleasure. It’s that simple. It’s easier to wash a towel than change the sheets so act accordingly!

Try a pillow under her head if you must but trying this without a pillow is better. This is because a pillow impinges on the movement of the head, and hence the body, when a person is in ecstasy. Free flowing movement of the body can’t occur when the head is ‘blocked’. She may want to see what is happening to her but it may be a better strategy to have her focus on feeling rather than seeing. Our eyesight is the strongest sense we have and it can over-ride other senses like touch sensations. Seeing the ‘action’ engages the mind more and the mind is what we are trying to bypass – judgment, worry, performance, analyzing – all these get in the way of feeling.

As the giver, situate yourself between her legs, directly in front of her body, or to her side with one of her legs over your lap. If you are right handed then you would sit to her left, as you face her, with her right leg over your lap. This is to facilitate a direct angle to her Yoni from your wrist and hand. You’ll understand when you start. Make sure as the giver that you are supremely comfortable whichever position you decide on. You can shift later but you want to remain a ‘rock’ for her to anchor to so get comfy and let her get comfy too.

Place your hands gently on her body – maybe one on her heart and one on her Yoni. Rest them there as you begin to breathe together. Take slow, deep breathes into the belly. As the giver you will want to remind yourself and her to breathe this way often. At this point the giver is doing the talking, the reminding, the guiding. Deep breathing will enhance the experience for both of you by helping spread the energy and ground the experience.

Both men and women can stop breathing or breathe very shallow breaths when approaching the later steps in arousal. It is vastly important to keep breathing to facilitate receiving more pleasure. If the receiver focuses on the breath, as in meditation, it keeps the mind from thinking and thus interfering with the pleasure cycle. It also supplies needed oxygen and NO ( Nitric Oxide) to the blood stream and genitals.
Begin to gently touch and lightly massage the body core, the inner thighs, the breasts and the sides of the torso. Keep this touch light as you are not entering into a deep tissue massage model right now. You are creating sensuality. You are building trust and erotic turn-on. Remind the receiver to relax, breathe and take in the touch.

Without turning your attention away form the receiver, keep one hand over their Yoni and with the other get the lubricant you have nearby and pour some onto the your own hand that is placed over the Yoni. This is to keep the oil or lubricant from catching the receiver off guard due to coldness. If you have a way to gently heat the oil or lube this is always preferable but if you don’t just make sure it goes onto your hand first and then gently drips onto the Yoni. (Remember, if you are wearing latex gloves the latex doesn’t mix with oil so use a product that is non-oily.)

Tell the receiver that you are starting and begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend some time here and don’t rush. Relax. Gently take the outer lips between the thumb and index finger and slide up and down the entire length of each lip as you gently pull, massage and stretch the tissue. You can do this with one hand or both hands on either side of the Yoni. It feels very good and has a kind of balancing effect to have this done with both hands simultaneously.
Spend plenty of time here. Both the outer and inner lips of the Yoni have many nerve endings and most women have never had much attention given to this area. You are giving them a gift! As they become more aroused you can even use more pressure as you pull and kneed and slide your fingers up and down this rich, erotic area. Breathe.

Maintaining eye contact is vitally important for communication and trust building. As the giver you’ll need to focus and look at what you are doing but as often as possible look up as you keep stroking and let her know you are there. It’s risky business to look into someone’s eyes as you are feeling pleasure but it is one of the most groundbreaking things you can do towards emotional intimacy.

The Clitoris
As a first time receiver it’s probably best to just relax and continue breathing deeply but it is possible, for extra stimulation, to let the receiver massage her own breasts if she wishes. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc., needs to be increased or decreased. Limit your speaking and focus on the pleasurable sensations. It is possible that too much talking might diminish feelings in the body.

As you stroke the labia begin to lightly touch the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles using one finger. Next, gently squeeze the clitoris between the thumb and index finger. Gently stroke along the shaft of the clitoris, from the head up toward the body, in a slow up and down motion. The receiver will begin to be very aroused but continue to encourage her to just relax and breathe.

This might be the time you want to ask for feedback from her about her clitoris sensitivity. It is typical for a majority of women to have the most sensations on the upper part of the clitoris and just to her left side. As the giver looks at the Yoni this would be to their right. Using an imaginary clock face, the area would be between twelve to three o’clock.

The G-Spot

Once you notice that your receiver is becoming aroused (pink tissues turning darker, clitoris becoming engorged) you can either continue what you are doing for a bit longer or begin the G-spot massage. It is best to gently ask for permission to enter her sacred space before you plunge in. Move slowly and sensually. Begin by holding your middle finger of your right hand just at the entrance to the Yoni. Put a little pressure there and hold for a minute or two.

Now, slowly enter her. Make sure that you have plenty of good, organic lubricant on her Vulva and on your finger. Turn you palm up so that your finger aligns with the upper roof of her Yoni. To locate the G-spot, if you haven’t before, very slowly pull your ‘hooked’ finger (come hither motion) toward yourself (out) until you encounter the ridge-like area behind the pubic bone. The G-spot ‘area’ lies just between the smooth area and the rougher area, though if she is very aroused you will find the ridge area to be the more likely place. If you put your thumb into your mouth and feel the upper palate in your own mouth and then pull your finger out to the ridge area behind your teeth, you’ll have an idea of what to feel for here. The two areas are very similar.

Note: The G-spot is more difficult to locate when the woman isn’t very sexually aroused. You may find, depending on the woman, that if she has a clitoral orgasm, before the G-spot massage begins, she’ll have an easier time focusing on it. The giver may also find that it is physically more apparent, too.
You can slowly and lovingly explore around the interior of her Yoni and as you do ask her what the sensations feel like. Let her give you little bits of feedback but keep the talking to a minimum so that she stays in feeling rather than mind-analysis. It will be interesting to the giver, especially if the giver is a man, to understand that there is actually very little feeling or sensation in most of the Yoni. But the specific areas where there is becomes very obvious! This is called ‘mapping’ the anatomy and is helpful for the woman to experience. When a person knows there anatomy ‘topography’ very well they can be better advocates for their own pleasure.

Back to the G-spot: while varying the depth, speed and pressure use a sweeping motion like that of a windshield wiper to cross slowly back and forth over the G-area. With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a ‘come hither’ gesture. Remember to stay relaxed and without an agenda.

Things that might happen during a Tantra Yoni Massage:
  • Your partner may feel as if they have to urinate
  • They may feel angry or afraid of the sensations and intensity
  • They may feel ‘pain’
  • They may feel varying degrees of pleasure
  • They might spontaneously burst into sighing or crying
  • They may become the Goddess incarnate immediately
  • They may begin to ejaculate
  • They may ask for more or less intensity of touch
Stay with them emotionally and don’t try to ‘fix’ anything they are experiencing. If negative emotions or pain come up back off a little from the intensity of your touch, giver, and hold still for a few minutes ( with pressure on the G-spot so they feel ‘held’) until they are ready to begin again. Build back up slowly so they can integrate body and mind.

Remind them to breathe all of the time. The fuller and deeper the breath is the better they will be able to integrate the feelings that they are having. Your left hand can be softly massaging or resting or brushing their heart region or breasts. This is good for reminding your partner that you are with them in their heart and that they can stay in their heart too. It also will allow them to spread the sexual energy and sexual feelings throughout their whole body.

If everything is proceeding well you can ask your Goddess if she would like additional stimulation of her clitoris. Use your thumb, from the same hand, to massage her clitoris so that a coordinated experience is provided. If this is too much for you to take on then tell her and plan for it next time. Don’t try to do too much the first time you practice this massage. There is always another day and when you build-up more slowly she’ll actually have a better overall experience.

More advanced practice note: This is not for the first time. Try it at a later date if your receiver is into it. Anal stimulation can be added to this massage using the same hand. It is a difficult experience for the giver but one that, if practiced, can be quite exquisite. Use your little finger and a lot of lubrication. Don’t withdraw your hand to add the lube, just relax and use your other hand to add the lubricant. If you withdraw your hand she may feel abandon. You are literally holding her in the palm of your hand. Don’t withdraw quickly and send her into reaction.

Right now, while you are reading this, hold your right hand up in the air and practice imagining your middle finger curved in a ‘hook’ toward your palm and your thumb on the clitoris. Look at your hand. The two fingers are near each other and holding a polarity between them. Right now it’s ‘space’ but when you are giving the massage these two fingers are going to be holding two of her pleasure poles. If you bring your two fingers together to touch does this remind you of anything? Does it look like a meditation mudra to you? Do both hands and close your eyes and hold them there for a few minutes. With eyes still closed, practices separating the fingers and then bringing them back together again. Each time you do this imagine an infinite amount of energy between your two fingers. This is a magical mudra and a symbol of regenerative energy. Visioning this while giving the massage will help to bring you into alignment with the energy needed to show up for the Goddess before you!

In addition to using your left hand on the heart you can use it to massage her breasts, put pressure on her pubic bone or pubic mound or use your thumb on that hand to massage her clitoris. If you introduce your left hand in any of these ways be sure to synchronize the movements with your dominant right hand. That dance or motion of both hands allows her brain to fully encompass the feelings synchronize with them.
Hold eye contact, breathe together, be gentle and focus your intention on her. If you can do this you are giving a huge gift. Just the intention and focus alone are a gift. Women need and love this and it is so rarely available for most women today. You are a gift!

‘Riding the Wave’ in Tantra means that the experience of orgasm becomes a part of a wave of energy that just keeps rising and falling and rising again. You may or may not get to this your first time. Don’t worry if you don’t this time. Remember, this is a gift of giving and opening up to new sensations and feelings and pleasure. She may orgasm and she may not but it isn’t the point right now. And practice makes perfect so you can plan this again. Becoming multi-orgasmic for a woman is learning to let go and trust that her body can produce exquisite feelings and energy that will take her into realms she didn’t dare even dream of.
There will come a time, especially if this is a first massage, when she will have had enough - for now. Make sure she knows that she can let you know when that time is. Next time will probably be longer because both of you now know what to expect and her capacity for pleasure will probably have increased because of this session.

When she is ready to be done stop your hand and hold the mudra for a moment. Very gently remove your hand just to the point of covering her Yoni and resting your hand cupped over her pubic mound for a few minutes. Hold her before you move away completely. Thank her for allowing you to be of service to the Goddess. You can cuddle, embrace or move into a spooning position for closeness. Synchronize your breathing and relax together. Share any observations or realization you had with each other. This is part of the learning.

Next time you do this you might want to encourage more open-mouthed sounds. Deep, low resonant sounds from a fully opened mouth and throat will facilitate female ejaculation and orgasm. In addition, the woman should begin Kegel exercises as these will up the ante on her capacity to orgasm and feel more pleasure.


Singapore Yoni Massage

Singapore Yoni Massage

Singapore Yoni Massage refers to the massage of the female sexual organ. Female Singaporeans are usually not receptive to having others touching their private parts, but a Singapore Yoni Massage can be a totally mind blowing experience for any females who have not experience it.
The person receiving the massage will be  encouraged to breathe deeply throughout the yoni massage so that the pleasure she gets is more intense.
Here is what happens during a Singapore Yoni Massage:
Basically, the masseur will pour a small amount of oil on to the mound of the Yoni, just enough so it drips down the outer lips. Next, she will massage each outer lip slowly between thumb and forefinger, sliding up and down the entire length of the lip. She will do the same for the inner lips of the Yoni. Most women will be totally relaxed at this moment.

Next, the masseur will start massaging the clitoris. The clitoris is four times more sensitive as compared to the Yoni, thus many women will experience an intense pleasure. The masseur begins by gently stroking the clitoris in a clockwise and anti-clockwise direction. Sometimes, she will squeeze it gently between her thumb and index finger, this would normally yield a arousing feeling to the body.

Next, the masseur will insert her middle finger in the Yoni, she will bend her fingers back towards the palm and feel for the G-spot. She will gently massage it, in circles, back and forth, side to side. Whilst at the same time using her thumb to continue circling the clitoris.

Yoni massage is not very common in Singapore, but there are some Singapore massage palours that do offer such exotic massage. You can head over to our massage directory to look for massage palours offering such services.


How to Practice Tantra

Practice Tantra
How to Practice Tantrathumbnail
Tantra is an ancient mystical system that originates from Hindu and Buddhist texts. Contrary to Western notions and applications of tantra, it is not a program that encourages licentious carnality. Tantra is a spiritual path, followed by adepts whose spiritual progress enables them to perform esoteric rituals. As with most spiritual paths, tantra requires a lifetime commitment to study and practice tantric principles. To practice tantra, a believer must study ancient sacred texts, practice specific meditation techniques and commit to the soul's journey toward union with the divine.


      1. Commit to tantra (Hindu or Buddhist) as a spiritual way of life, rather than focus on the sexuality with which tantra is associated in the West. Tantric practice brings into harmony the mind and body by specific Kundalini yoga practice.
      2. Submit the body and the mind to the divine. By sacrifice and detachment, the whole being becomes a vessel for the divine, which leads to liberation from rebirth (samsara) and release from illusion (maya). Perform puja (worship) to God, meditate in the lotus position, fast and bathe with humble respect of the divine.
      3. Locate a tantra guru. Tantra is a complex spiritual system. Novices are advised to find a teacher who can guide them through the intricacies and often puzzling teachings, texts and tantric practices. In the quest for a guru, know that they are not listed in the Yellow Pages. Find a Hindu temple and proceed from there. Consider that your search is part of your commitment. Also, the adage, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear" is wisdom that can accompany you.
      4. Investigate Kundalini tantra. Kundalini is a path (yoga) that proceeds through the journey of tantra in systematic ways. As you awakens the energy in the chakras, you begin to experience harmony between masculine (Shiva) and feminine (Shakti) principles in your whole being.


How to Perform a Tantra Massage

How to Perform a Tantra Massage

A pleasant fragrance enhances the atmosphere for a tantra massage.

How to Perform a Tantra MassagethumbnailTantra massage is considered a couples' massage. Unlike other massages, the experience benefits both individuals, calming the minds of the giver and receiver while synchronizing their energies. A tantra massage's effects goes beyond the physical to include emotional and spiritual benefits, bringing the focus of the mind into the moment and awakening the body through sensory stimulation.


      1. Create an atmosphere for the massage that will induce relaxation and awaken the senses in gentle ways. Cover the massage surface with clean, fresh linens. Light the room with candles or by lowering the wattage of lamps. Play soft music and light incense.
      2. Position the massage receiver face down on the prepared surface. The couple should now synchronize their breathing, focusing on the breaths in and out. Position the receiver's arms away from the sides of the body and the legs into a slight V shape. The giver may softly stroke each limb while positioning it, from shoulder to fingertips and from thigh to toes.
      3. Move your hands over the receiver's body beginning with a light and gentle touch, using only fingertip strokes and smooth whole-hand caresses. Touching in tantra massage is not limited to any portion of the body. Apply caressing strokes to the full body, back and front, as long as the giver and receiver are comfortable. The energy between the giver and receiver determines the type of touch suited as the massage progresses.

Tips & Warnings

  • Those who practice tantra massage will benefit from the practices of yoga and meditation. All of these compliment each other and enhance mindfulness into the present moment while focusing energies through breathing and movement. Relaxation, peace of mind, enhanced spirituality and physical well being are the benefits of these practices. Tantra is not a sexual act, but a sensual one that creates stronger bonds between two individuals and awakens spiritual awareness and encourages emotional healing.
  • If desired, hot lava stones can enhance the massage experience.
  • Avoid using essential oils during a tantra massage if skin sensitivity exists for giver or receiver. Use of these oils will aggravate skin conditions.


How to Learn Yoni Massage

How to Learn Yoni Massage

Hot stone massage of other areas of the body can help prepare a woman for yoni massage.

The Sanskrit word "yoni" refers to the vagina, but the word actually means "sacred space" or "temple." The meaning of the word conveys the sense of reverence toward female sexuality inherent in yoni massage. Often when a woman experiences traumatic and/or deeply stressful events, the energy of those experiences will linger in her yoni. Yoni massage helps release those painful experiences. Although a woman may experience orgasm during yoni massage, the goal of the process is not merely sexual climax but emotional healing.


      1. Set the stage by creating a sense of safety, privacy and sacred space. Use clean sheets and pillow and light some candles around the perimeter of the room. After the woman has disrobed, have her recline on the bed or massage table with a pillow to support her head and neck. Give her a full body massage using scented oil and/or hot stones. In order to receive the full benefit of the yoni massage, the woman has to feel relaxed and receptive. Allow this initial phase to take about an hour.
      2. Guide the woman to breathe slowly and deeply. Help her use her breath to begin to relax from the inside out. Try to have your breathing rhythms synchronize. If you want, you can talk her through a guided meditation on the chakras to help her become more aware of her energy body. Let the massage start to center around the yoni area, focusing on the abdomen, thighs and pubic bone area. Slide a pillow beneath the woman's hips to elevate them so she can view the process of yoni massage.
      3. Pour some warm oil or lubricant over the pubic mound area. Massage the outer lips of the vulva, observing the woman's response to determine the degree of pressure to use with your fingers. Gently squeeze the lips, sliding your fingers up and down their length. Then repeat this process with the inner lips, remaining aware of the woman's response to different degrees of touch. Eye contact between the person giving the massage and the woman receiving it deepens the intensity of the experience but try to keep the process primarily non-verbal.
      4. Stroke the clitoris in a circular motion, both clockwise and counter-clockwise. Press it lightly between your thumb and index finger, again noticing the woman's response. Keep the rhythm slow and steady as you touch her. Slide the middle finger of the other hand into the yoni. Move the middle finger in a slightly crooked position as for a "come here" gesture, seeking what Tantra refers to as the woman's "sacred spot." Experiment with different levels of pressure, speeds and patterns of movement as you touch this spot. If the woman feels comfortable, you may insert more than one finger in the vagina. Another option, depending on the woman's comfort, is to use the thumb of the hand inside the vagina to stroke the clitoris and slide one or more well-lubricated fingers of the other hand into the anus. Or you can use one hand for the yoni and clitoris and the other hand to massage her breasts.
      5. Continue to massage the yoni area. Maintain a steady, compassionate calmness so the woman feels free to let her body determine whether or not she climaxes or how many orgasms she experiences. She may also experience other forms of emotional release, including crying. Continue the massage until the woman indicates she wishes it to conclude the session. You may want to cover her with a sheet or blanket after the massage to give her a sensation of feeling safe and cocooned.

Tips & Warnings

  • Remember that the tissues of the genital region are highly sensitive. Avoid using strongly scented products when massaging this area. Select products safe for internal use when massaging the yoni.


How to Give a Tantra Yoni Massage

How to Give a Tantra Yoni Massagethumbnail
How to Give a Tantra Yoni Massage

Tantra is a form of sexual activity that focuses on stimulation and intense pleasure. The yoni massage is given to a woman by her partner. "Yoni" is an alternative word in Tantra for the vagina. The purpose of the yoni massage is for the woman to relax and experience pleasure.


      1. Ask the subject of the massage to empty her bladder.
      Shower or bathe together.
      2. Ask the woman to lie on her back with a pillow under her head and place a pillow under her hips. Ask her to put her feet halfway toward her buttocks, with her knees bent, and expose her yoni. Sit between her legs with your legs crossed.
      3. Begin the breathing exercises that will continue throughout the massage.
      Apply the lubricant or warm, scented oil to the outside of the yoni. Slowly and sensually massage her vaginal lips.
      4. Rub her clitoris in a clockwise motion and then in a counterclockwise motion, adjusting the speed and pressure based on the woman's preferences.
      5. Use your thumb and index finger to gently squeeze the clitoris.
      6. Place your middle finger into the woman's yoni and explore various speeds and depths.
      7. Focus your finger up toward the woman's G-spot, which is called the "sacred spot" in Tantra.
      8. End the massage at the woman's request.

Sacred Sexuality

Sacred Sexuality

“By the same acts that cause some men to burn in hell for thousands of years,
the Tantric practitioner gains eternal salvation.”
For thousands of years, the Western Judeo-Christian, authoritarian male-dominant strategy for handling the emotions, the body, pleasure, and our most basic instincts, was to keep them well in check, and generally deny and ignore as best we could any feelings below the waistline.
Freud said that empires were built on the resulting sublimated energy, but the game is over.   It turns out there's nothing unspiritual about pleasure, and it's good for your health too.  So how did we ever come to feel so bad about even thinking about feeling good?  The passions are so overwhelmingly powerful that religions have been warning us away from them since the dark ages.  Yet, ironically, through no other human activity, except death, is the opportunity for ego-loss, transformation and self- realization so prevalent and powerful as in Tantra.
Sacred SexualityTantra means more than embracing your physicality: all action, thought, and realization becomes spiritual liberation itself.  The high art of making True Love is mystical and miraculous beyond comprehension.  It inundates your entire being.  It delivers you - body and soul - to unimagined heights of ecstasy.  The discovery of the key to the union of spirituality and sexuality is at once a path to, and a gift of Enlightenment.
The ultimate consummation of physical love-making is complete Union. It bestows the experience of a spectacular breakthrough to the Infinite - beyond, but concurrent with our everyday existence.  What begins as duality within time, climaxes as a shared soul-merging experience of Eternity.  A transformation occurs which evolves from desire and passion to a level of total and perfect bliss, otherwise rarely known in human existence.
Spiritual merging in love is the elusive prize that everyone seeks when they lay down with another, whether they know it or not.  Lust is only a call to love, and many have yet to answer it.  We may think we are content giving and taking personal gratification, yet all the while the heart seeks nothing less than to lose itself absolutely in love, and be consumed in ecstatic union with your beloved or guide, and the Universe. We can experience this love is a Tantric session.
How to achieve such divine deliverance through one of the most common "animalistic" functions we perform is the secret known to enlightened lovers as the direct path of Love.  It transcends the trap of the ego-self: In effect, the world's greatest aphrodisiac is selflessness.
Nobody is better than the Buddha in bed.

The paradox of sex is that the same act can both liberate and imprison, depending upon one's intent, state of mind, and conditioning.  Sex can drive you either towards or away from Enlightenment.  The great enigma is, how can we transform the trap of addictive physical appetite to the ecstatic realization of Divine Union?
It all depends on your true and underlying purpose.  It calls for constancy and commitment to the ultimate goal of Enlightenment.  Why is the divine gift of lovemaking so often little more than a desperate groping for glandular stimulation in dark rooms, accompanied by feelings of hunger and shame?  Ironically, and all too often - when people use each other uncaringly - this most universally accessible mystical experience of orgasm is debased into something dishonorable and dirty.  But anti-sex admonitions in turn only give rise to guilt, when - despite heroic efforts to curb our "lower appetites" - we find ourselves indulging in what is, after all, the single most compelling human urge after breathing and eating.  We might even say that repression of this primal biological imperative creates rapists and pedophiles.
Shame is taught by "authorities" who can embrace neither their animal nor their spiritual nature.  They fear one and fake the other, and call this "correct."  Certain religions contend that sex must be solely for insemination and procreation, or it is devil-worship.  By that logic, one should certainly refrain from using one's hands (not to mention lips and tongue), and get it over with as quickly as possible.  Obviously the Good Lord made this procreational pleasure-drive far more powerful than most individual's (and any church's) power to control.

A truly relevant and realistic religion would teach us how to consecrate our sexuality, not deny it.  We need to unlearn our guilt about wanting sex, even as we realize what a guilded cage it could very well become. Of course men and women compromise their morality and good judgment all the time for sex (although probably no more than for love, money, power, or fame). But the inherent dangers are hardly reason to avoid the experience. Respect for that very danger should make us take care as we take pleasure. Let us celebrate and make sacred our natural, innate sexuality. Copulation as high communion? Is there any better way?
It is time for today’s generation to begin to re-learn the sacred approach to lovemaking, as in indigenous tribal customs, rituals, and Tantric couples practices.  Meditation, invocations, breathing exercises, incense, candlelight, ceremonial objects, rituals, music, and essential oils have been used to create a special environment and mind-state in which to sanctify sexual union.  Such careful preparations tend to quiet the busy, over-worked mind and increase sensitivity and sensuality, while at the same time creating reverence.
Sacred SexualityThe essence of this conscious sex approach is to transform the very energy of your appetite for personal pleasure into one of cosmic realization, by harnessing your own desire to the happiness, the thrill, and the total fulfillment of your partner.  Thus you achieve Unity through duality, by making her (or his) ecstasy your own.  Giving and taking merge, and you two become One.  The transformation from ordinary mechanical, confused, guilt-ridden sex to the profound gift of natural/spiritual lovemaking depends upon a broadening of one's focus from the genitals to the heart, from passion to compassion.
Spiritual sex opens you at all centers at once, animal to divine.  Transcendent love is a religious experience.  Every touch is The First, and time stands still.  The senses are magnified a thousand times. Your partner becomes a Goddess or God, whom you worship in awe. You notice everything, and it all conveys tremendous meaning and potency. Foreplay is truly playful, breathtakingly tender. The pleasure is immediately and continuously perfect, the passion intense and profound. Time itself disappears and the Holy Universe becomes self-evident. Opening all your centers, engaging all your faculties, the animal/emotional/spiritual crescendo of love lasts forever, and the climax is an exquisite release of the body, the heart and the soul in a spectacular shared revelation of the Universal Self.  The after-glow of such a cosmic physical union endures for days.. weeks.  The experience is healing and unifying in every way.

  • Consecrate the setting. Make it Holy.
  • Wait for the perfect moment.
  • Purify yourself in body and mind.
  • Meditate.
  • Dedicate the experience to your highest purpose.
  • Invoke the Goddesses of Love.
  • Begin motionless and in silence.
  • Gaze into each other's eyes, long and deep.
  • Breathe together.
  • Fall in love. stay in love. die into love.
  • Listen for Inner Guidance.
  • Reside always at the beginning.
  • Move in slow motion, with reverence.
  • Worship your lover. Touch only in awe.
  • Trust your body's deepest impulses.
  • Give voice to your feelings.
  • Make love with your whole being.
  • Transpose taking and giving.
  • Decelerate until time stands still.
  • Abandon all gain and control.
  • Die as a personality. Be born as pure Love in the Universe.

To lose the self in love, look always to the beginning and keep to the beginning. Worship each other's pure essence as Goddess and God.
Everything matters.
Use all senses Read your beloved's mind/body.
In slow motion abandonment of time itself, Give only pleasure and love, letting hers become yours, ours.
Surrender continuously, unconditionally, to the sacred fire within, all consuming, all purifying, all fulfilling.
Some Sacred Sexuality excerpts have been gratefully provided by Lonny J. Brown, author of “Enlightenment in Our Time”  www.BookLocker.com/LonnyBrown

“The point of giving her sexual pleasure is to awaken the bliss that she will then combine with meditation on emptiness in order to attain enlightenment.” - Miranda Shaw, Ph.D. Passionate Enlightenment: Women in Tantric Buddhism -
(Princeton University Press)